Monday, September 28, 2009

Sex with Dopey

I do not find him even remotely attractive. He has a goofy face that puts me strongly in mind of Dopey, the least appealing member of the seven dwarfs. (How's that for an entertaining parlor game? Which of the seven dwarfs would you actually agree to have sex with?) His body is shaved but oddly pudgy in spite of his relative lack of fat. He is short, perhaps 5'6", and his cock is misshapen and oddly proportioned. He also has some filthy predilections, including a desire to have me defecate on his face. (I make no judgments on this fetish, but find it repulsive nonetheless.) Put another way, he has none of the characteristics that I sometimes find attractive in men. And yet, I respond to his incessant demands to meet, his endless emails in praise of my large cock, by continuing to meet with him and allowing him to suck me off. The only way I can derive even a frisson of genuine excitement out of these meetings is by being somewhat abusive to him during our sessions, which of course is precisely what he wants. So I shove him around, slapping his ass, twisting his nipples with considerable force, and holding his head firmly as I ram my entire length down his throat, causing him to gag and nonetheless ask for more. Throughout this process, he continually murmurs effusive endearments to my cock as he begs me to feed him more and more. I received a swooning email from him after our session on Friday indicating that my load was the largest he had ever swallowed in his life. (I had not cum in two weeks.) While he fantasizes about our sessions--sometimes reliving them through a video I allowed him to shoot (no faces shown)--I rush home to the shower, frantically soaping my entire body to remove even a trace of his saliva from my body. Who but an addict would indulge in this behavior? In the end I am left with a deep sense of shame. In the midst of all our blogging efforts to entice readers with the most appealing erotic descriptions possible--many of them highly embellished I suspect--how often do we address the emotions aroused by some of our less savory behaviors?

Of course I am in no position whatsoever to take the moral high ground here as I am under no illusion that my addiction will not continue to drive me forward, in spite of any ethical qualms I may be harboring. And here is an unanswerable question: Why is it that my shame is triggered by Dopey but not by my liaisons with women, or even by many of my meetings with more attractive men? Is there something particularly shameful about my ability to get it up for anything that moves?

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1 comment:

  1. Your description of dopey made me smile...and, I guess unfortunately for me, was able to bring vivid memories of a guy I dated.
    I cannot pick a particular dwarf I would sleep with on his own merits. So I would sleep with them as a group...if anything it would be a new experience for me - that many in one session.

    "In the midst of all our blogging efforts to entice readers with the most appealing erotic descriptions possible--many of them highly embellished I suspect--how often do we address the emotions aroused by some of our less savory behaviors?"

    I hae often considered this myself. I have put a more positive spin or jokey attitude in my posts than the real event had. I try to address my darker motives but who would be interested in that right?

    "And here is an unanswerable question: Why is it that my shame is triggered by Dopey but not by my liaisons with women, or even by many of my meetings with more attractive men? Is there something particularly shameful about my ability to get it up for anything that moves?"

    Well you talk alot about dom fantasises..in this its you who are the more dominant - maybe thats a part of the guilt?
    It really is a question noone else can answer. I have sexual exprences that hold different level of guilt and dont really have an answer as to why.

    ReplyDelete

 
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